December 31 prompt

I (think) this is the last prompt of the reverb project! To catch up on what it is ...check out http://www.reverb10.com/

December 31 Prompt
What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world? (Bonus: Consider your reflections from this month. Look through them to discover a thread you may not have noticed until today.)

I feel like I'm going to sound cheesy with this one..but here it goes. My central story is that I'm a 30 something year old newly married professional trying to live life to the fullest. I (try) to be a good person, because I'll say..I can sometimes be a bit gossipy, too quick to judge...I also try to be a good daughter, sister, sister in law, daughter in law, friend...and wife. So, while it might not be much of a story, it's mine. It's one I'll continue to tell throughout 2011 and for many more years and I'm sure the story will change, have good parts and bad, exciting parts and boring ones, but I'm a story teller at heart and will share it with anyone who listens..even if they looked glazed over 2 minutes in!

December 29 and 30 Prompts

I was doing so well with my reverb Prompts...time to play catch up yet again!

Prompt: Defining moment. Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year.
I'd have to say a defining moment in 2010 was definitely the death of my step dad. He's been a part of my life since I was 9 or 10 years old and passed away after an almost 2 year battle with cancer this past April. This became a defining moment for me because it really brought me closer to my mom and two sisters. We've always had a tight knit relationship but it created this unspoken I've really got your back no matter what relationship between the four of us. We're an incredible female foursome!

Prompt: Gift. This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What's the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year?
well, I am quite excited for that Mexican vacation this winter...but I think I really took a step back on my spending this year. I'd hate to admit, I have my moments when I am completely materialistic. I feel like I need the newest knee length leather riding boots, skinny jeans, and fake fur vest, or my pocketbook I'm carrying right now is so last year, or all my shoes are completely out of style. By buckling down with finances, it's amazing how much my life really wasn't affected by what I thought I needed to get through life. I also realized just how stupid it is to buy so much "stuff" when we have other bills and debts to pay off.

But, I digress....putting material things aside, the greatest gift I received this year was to remain in good health. Both Mr. Allan and I have had people close to us afflicted with different health problems and diseases and I'm thankful that I'm healthy and able to live my life however I choose each day and not restricted by being ill or incapable of doing something because I'm not healthy.

December 24 Prompt

Prompt: Everything's OK. What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?

There are so many moments where I thought the sky was falling down on me this year. I've had many Chicken Little moments. I have little to zero patience. When I first started dating Mr. Allan, I'll never forget one of my impatient first moments he witnessed. I had heard so many good things about Potstickers from Trader Joe's. I grabbed a bag, at the time there was no Trader Joe's close by and we had made a special trip on the trek home from somewhere. I went to cook the potstickers and they stuck to the pan and were this horrible mess. Mr. Allan tried to intervene and I swore at the potstickers, snatched the pan from the ghetto stove in our Newport apt that worked when it felt like it and opened the trash and threw them away. I forget if Mr. Allan looked at me in disbelief or started laughing. We have a private joke about and call these my "Snickers" moments. It's usually followed by Mr. Allan crying..."Snickers, don't jump into the lake"

I must say, this year I feel like I've gotten a handle on my level of patience. I knew everyone was waiting for me to swear like a sailor over something at Thanksgiving...but alas, I held my tongue and probably counted to ten in my head.

I think in general, I have Mr. Allan to fall back on. When I was hysterically crying over something a few weeks ago, he enters the picture and calms my crazy as we say. I think just knowing I have my best friend by my side for the rest of my life makes everything, no matter how big or how small, seem like it's going to be okay.

December 23 Prompt

Prompt: New name. Let's meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?



Hi, my name is Gretchen Woodhaven.
 
C'mon..don't you remember when you were a kid that your porn star name was your middle name and the name of the street you grew up? That's mine.
 
I feel a little sad that when i got married i opted to put my maiden name as my middle name and I dropped Gretchen. I did it mostly for professional reasons. I had been a lawyer for 7 years known by my maiden name and since my family is all girls, I felt strongly about keeping my maiden name. So, Gretchen Woodhaven is it!

December 22 Prompt

Prompt: Travel. How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?

I didn't travel much in 2010. 2009 was a big year, we paid for a wedding and took a fabulous 2 week honeymoon to Hawaii where we pulled out all the stops with fabulous adventures and 5 star hotels. 2010 was a recovery year and travel was one thing that didn't happen.

I did not get on an airplane at all in 2010. The only travel I did was locally. In July, Mr. Allan and I went on our annual trip to Martha's Vineyard. We rented a house with friends for a week. I love and treasure this trip as it's something that Mr. Allan introduced me to and something we've done every year since we've known each other with the exception of one summer, when I had to take the RI and MA bar exams. This year, my two sisters joined us for a weekend. I'm glad I got to share this trip with them and hope to see them again this summer.

The only other small trips we took this year were to CT for our anniversary. We were only away a night but it was a fantastic night!

In 2011 we are going to Mexico (Merry Christmas Mr. Allan!!!). I CAN NOT wait. Usually we like to take trips where we explore, look for things off the beaten path etc. This trip is the exact opposite. It's a high end all inclusive resort where we don't need to plan a thing. The trip is coming a week before Mr. Allan leaves for a long business trip, so it'll be bittersweet to have  fantastic tropical vacation before he goes away!

December 21 Prompt

so I'm a couple days behind...but still keeping up!!!!

Prompt: Future self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)


If it was 2015, I'd give my 2010 self this advice

be patient
be thankful for what you have and do not focus on what you think you want or you make yourself believe you need
enjoy your youth
slow down and enjoy the moment every once in a while
you may think you know everything and have all the answers but you really don't
you'll do things you regret, that you're embarrassed of, that you'll kick yourself for, don't beat yourself up over these decisions or choices, instead learn from them and move on.
you have one body, treat it well, nourish it and exercise it.
cherish your time with family and friends

I'm 32 years old now, what would I tell my 22 year old self in 2000?

Dear 22 yr old Holly,

You're finishing up your first semester of law school. You're broke, tired and wondering if it's really worth it. Spend your money wisely. Although student loans are thrown at you to live and survive, you have no understanding of exactly how much lawschool is going to cost you and burden you for years to come! Get a job, borrow as little as you can and live on as little as you can. Your 22 year old mind has no idea that lawschool loans will be a second mortgage in your life until you're 55 years old.

You just met an amazing guy. It seems like the timing is off for the two of you to meet and it is. You'll explore your relationship and eventually take time off. Have faith. If the timing isn't right, don't push it. It's meant to be, things will fall back into place and flourish into the most important relationship of your entire life. Be patient, look out for yourself, and keep the faith.

You're miserable in your body right now. You're sick of hearing you're a pretty girl, but the part people leave out is that you're overweight. Take control now. Eat right, ease up on the late nights of drinking and Classic Pizza stops at 1am. If you can get this under control now, you'll wonder why you spent the majority of your life fat, embarrassed of what your body looks like and damaging your health with all the gross, fast food, and processed foods you eat on a daily basis. Once you buckle down and get healthy you'll realize that you CAN do it, you'll also wonder why it took you 22 years to get your weight problem under control.

You're 22, you may think you're invincible, smart and have all the answers, but you don't. Learn from your mistakes, they'll be many of them!

Sincerely,
your fabulous 32 year old self.

December 20 Prompt

Prompt: Beyond avoidance. What should you have done this year but didn't because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)

I should have told people how much I appreciate them and love them more, spent more time with family, spent more time doing things I enjoy and take more time for myself.

I didn't do these things as much as I'd like, well, because life just gets in the way...work, gym, grocery shopping, cleaning the house etc...all become my convenient excuses.

December 19 Prompt

Prompt: Healing. What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?

This is a toughie...I'm not sure how I was healed this past year. I can think of things I've learned and ways I've moved on. I can think of people I butt heads with and hold grudges and how I've let go and decided it wasn't worth the effort to be mad at someone for something and to let it pass on.

December 18 Prompt

December 18 Prompt
Prompt: Try. What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn't go for it?

Things I'd like to try in 2011....I'd like to try to swear less, travel more, save money and become credit card debt free. My frustrations with my job make me swear like a sailor...I'm not always dealing with the nicest most polite people. But, it's gotten a little out of control lately. I feel like I can't tell a story without the f bomb in it lately.

I'd love to take some more trips, life, work, and other things just seem to get in the way and we do not vacation and take time off nearly as much as we should.

Save money and pay off debt...we have and we continue to do so. I think I might actually cry the day I no longer have any credit card debt. It's been a black cloud over my head since college days.

December 17 Prompt

December 17

Prompt: Lesson learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

Lesson 1- When I am organized, I can be a patient, productive person. Hosting Thanksgiving dinner this year proved this to me. I may have come off like an anal retentive type A personality, but the food was good, I didn't drop the F  bomb once and everything went off without a hitch.

Lesson 2- I don't need as many material things as I always think I do. I constantly tell Mr. Allan that he has the best wife in the world. I buckled down on spending so much this year. I haven't bought one new suit, I've yet to buy any new winter boots, I only bought one new bathing suit this summer...c'mon...who's better than me?

December 16 Prompt

December 16

Prompt: Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?


One friend's journey has made me realize that when you want something and it's not happening, be thankful for what you have.

December 15 Prompt

Prompt: 5 minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.

Things I want to remember most about 2010:
1) celebrating my anniversary...so many special moments and that night away with Mr. Allan came at such a crucial time where we so desperately needed it since, unfortunately, 2010 was the most time away from Mr. Allan we've seen in our relationship since he traveled so much

2) 2 special moments with my best friend and other friends...laughing about a french horn this past Saturday night...i don't remember why it was so funny but it was the type of joke that had me crying...and dancing the night away one night this summer...I know we don't get to hang out as much now that kids, marriage, jobs etc get in the way...but when we do..my oh my is it a good time!

3) Martha's vineyard. Our annual camping trip turned into renting a house for a week...but I was glad that my sisters came along for a weekend and could share in a trip that Mr. Allan and I go on every year..hopefully you guys will be along for the ride this year as well!

4) working on casa de allan. Mr. Allan and I kind of suck at home improvements. Between Columbus day and thanksgiving we set a goal of some sprucing up. We probably wanted to stab each other in the eye with paintbrushes during this time, but the satisfaction of looking at our finished product is priceless.

5) spending the last week with my step dad. It was the hardest time of this past year. My sister and I took time out of work and stayed in western, ma with my mom and step dad. I will treasure the last moments we had with him forever....there were tough times and then some funny times too....the password is password...and answering our jeopardy questions.

6) waking up everyday I can with Mr. Allan on the side of me. Today was a particularly nice morning...the cats weren't knocking over lamps, it was bitterly cold last night, and I woke up with Mr. Allan all cute, sleepy and snuggled in our flannel sheets. Might not be an earth shattering memory..but one of my favorites.

reverb10 December 14 Prompt

December 14 Prompt

Prompt: Appreciate. What's the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?

I have come to appreciate my health this past year. My stepfather passed away after an almost two year battle with cancer. It was difficult to see a reasonably healthy man struggle with such a devastating disease. It really boggles my mind how many people don't appreciate the body that they're given and take care of it. In our great country of the U.S.A., people treat their pets, cars and material possessions better than they take care of themselves.

I struggle and nag Mr. Allan to get to the doctors. If his car needs an oil change, we clear a day for that, we take the cats to the vet every year and follow their orders, but I can't get my own husband to go and keep regular annual appointments at the doctor and dentist.

It also drives me a bit batty that most people eat such crap. I hate seeing obese kids that have obese parents who shovel packaged, processed foods and think nothing of fast food on a regular basis into their mouths. God gave you one body, you should take care of it, nurture it, exercise it. I truly don't think overweight people understand the damage they are doing to their body. If last year's New Year's Resolution was to lose 25 lbs and you didn't achieve that goal, you should take a hard look at your lifestyle. Someday, you might be facing a terrible disease that takes control over your body and you would do absolutely anything for another month, week, or day. So, take control and nourish your body, celebrate your health while you have it!

and for those that are reading this thinking...wah wah wah...I don't have time to go to the gym, I don't have the money to eat healthy. If you're on your butt in front of a tv or computer, shut it off and lose a premium channel or two or even your dvr and there's your solution.

How do I express gratitude for it? I take care of myself. I eat healthy, real, foods. I exercise. My body needs it to stay strong and healthy and I embrace that. I have this one body for the rest of my life. I will not be trapped and held prisoner by being overweight. I won't damage my joints and bones from carrying around tons of excess weight. I won't damage my organs by suffocating them in layers of fat. Why? because I want to be around for a very long time!

December 13 Prompt

Prompt: Action. When it comes to aspirations, its not about ideas. It's about making ideas happen. What's your next step?

Write more, spend less, and don't sweat the small things.

When I was in elementary school I loved writing essays for English class. My 6th grade teacher, Miss Hoard, took me aside the last day of 6th grade before I entered middle school and told me that I had a talent and could really go places if I continued with my writing. I sort of kind of did...but being in lawschool, I quickly found out that legal writing just wasn't my thing. Having this blog I feel like I've been able to tap into the writing i enjoyed so much when i was younger..the useless, it doesn't really have a point type literature I love.

I might not have big aspirations, but certainly would like to see what I can do with it...

Decmber 12 Prompt

ok..i'm a day late, but only because I was in recovery mode from quite the excellent evening out at Oceancliff's Holiday Gala on Saturday night!

December 12 Prompt
Prompt: Body integration. This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn't mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?

I have such a hard time relaxing, letting go and not allowing my mind to race and take over. Ever when I lay down at night to go to sleep I'm making lists in my head, thinking all there is to do etc. There are probably only two moments this year where I can think that I let go, put my mind to rest and felt alive, relaxed, and whole.

On my birthday this year, Mr. Allan was away on a business trip, due to fly back on my actual birthday, missed his flight and ended up flying in after dinner. It was a horrid, rainy day and my sister and I went to a spa to treat ourselves. I received the most amazing hot stone massage. I've gotten plenty of massages before when I'm worried what's showing, where they're touching me etc. This one, I let go and was the most peaceful I've been in quite some time, not worrying about anything whatsoever.

In November, I signed up for a 5 hour yoga seminar with a famous yogi, Shiva Rea. She taught one of my favorite yoga instructors, and this instructor convinced me to sign up. I didn't know anyone there, except for a few I pass by at the gym. I was a little intimidated since I had only been practicing yoga for 10 months or so. After I settled in, this seminar became a very demanding yet spiritual experience. My body could do things I never imagined it could, last in poses I never dreamed I could reach, and the experience made me appreciate my body and the things it could do. At the end of the seminar, Shiva Rea had us close our eyes and let loose, allowing our bodies to move in any which way shape or form. I'm not one to really shake it and let loose, but let myself get caught up in this ultimate moment of release.

Prompt 11

December 11 prompt

Prompt: 11 Things. What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

I don't need a 1) a new car 2) as many clothes as I think I need 3) ugg slippers 4) an Ipad 5) as many vacations as I think do 6) any more chaos 7) the stress I put upon myself 8) negative people in my life 9) judgemental gossipers 10) any more impatience 11) anything or anyone that puts you down or brings you down

Getting rid of just one or all of these things would make life cleaner, simpler, and easier...well maybe not items 1-6 which are solely just things or stuff...I want 2011 to be a positive, healthy year. I get myself wound up too tightly too easily and want to just exhale, relax a bit, maybe find a little patience in my life and enjoy it!

Prompt 10

December 10 Prompt


Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?
Ok..my wise decisions might seem silly....but to each his own I guess!
I have three that come to mind
 
1) letting my hair grow out. I did the post wedding chop and tried to rock a chic angled bob. While I felt like I needed change and it did deliver, I missed my long hair and an angled bob my made face look long and weird. My hair is now a shaggy long layered look and I'm glad it's back. I feel more like myself when I look in the mirror.
 
2) Practicing Yoga. I'm a pretty athletic gal. I goto the gym, I work out, I watch what I eat and I take pride in my health and fitness regimen. Right after Christmas last year, I pulled 2 muscles in my neck and had a pretty painful strain. It sidelined me for two weeks. I tried to hop right back into my step aerobic, turbo kicking ways and just couldn't. On a whim I took a power yoga class. I had taken yoga before and always thought it was a giant snore. I would take a beginner class focused on breathing and stretching. I have hamstrings like a man, so the stretching never appealed to me. But, this power yoga class was different. I was constantly moving from pose to pose, using my own body weight as resistance. I've kept up with yoga all year long. It's a different workout. I might not be a red hot sweaty mess after every single class like I am with higher aerobic activities, but I feel like I'm really working my body. In early November, I even took a 5 hour yoga seminar. It's relaxed me a bit and for those who know me and my impatient ways, be thankful I'm still practicing!
 
3)Becoming more financially savvy. I owe this to Mr. Allan. It was a wise choice that was forced down my throat like a big ass horse pill, but nevertheless, the wisest choice of 2010. Our useless debt is almost gone and even with a little left to pay off I'm feeling this overwhelming sense of relief not having debt bearing down on me and not having to worry about finances, money, and how I'm paying for this or that anymore is the greatest release I could ever ask for.

Reverb10

What is it? It's an online initiative created to help people reflect on the year past and look to the new year and what it will hold. I guess you could kind of call a big opportunity to reflect on the last 12 months and think about what the next 12 will hold from you. Here's the story behind Reverb10. Reverb10 I'm a few days late, so here are my reflections for days 1-9 so far...

December 1 - One Word.



Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

If I could nutshell 2010 in one word it would be fulfilling. This was our first full year of marriage. Mr. Allan and I are fortunate to be in a strong, healthy relationship. I love every day I get with him. We have a home, we have careers and jobs we enjoy and we have each other. 2010 was a year of settling down, paying off some bills, letting the wedding hoop-la of the previous year die down and overall it was a very fulfilling year.

December 2 - Writing.



What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?
Ummmm..work gets in the way of blogging, but I have to do that! Otherwise Mr. Allan and I wouldn't eat. But, I could cut down on my reality tv addiction, but it has gotten better with Tivo, now that I can watch 4 hours of crap tv in just one. I do wander aimlessly around the Internet, Facebook, message boards, and blog browsing could be converted into spending some more time on my thoughts vs. reading others.

December 3 – Moment.

Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).
It was October 4, 2010, my one year wedding anniversary with Mr. Allan. Mr. Allan had been on constant travel leading up to our anniversary. We thought about a big trip to get away but just didn't have the luxury of taking time off. Instead, we took a night away in a coastal town in CT. My favorite moment of our trip was waking up late on Monday, October 4. We had a fabulous dinner out the night before and a hike earlier in the day. We slept in late in our hotel room. We ordered in room service for breakfast. We took out of champagne flutes from our wedding and made mimosas. Then, it came time to check out. We loaded our bags in the car. But, before we left, we walked down to the water. The day was chilly and windy, the type of wind that whips your hair in your face and you can barely speak its blowing so hard. We walked along a wooden boardwalk that ran along the ocean. The water was gray-ish blue with tons of whitecaps. Seagulls were flying around skimming the water looking for food. We stopped at the edge of the boardwalk and we each had a piece of paper folded in our hands. Mr. Allan and I held one of each other's hands and we unfolded the paper that had our vows that we exchanged one year ago exactly. Standing on the edge of the dock, listening to the waves crash and with the wind somewhat fiercely blowing, we once again exchanged our vows that we had written. We did it in the same manner that we did on our wedding day, with me reading a vow, then Mr. Allan reading a vow. This is a special tradition that we will do on every single wedding anniversary we will have together and my absolute positively favorite memory of 2010.

December 4 – Wonder.

How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year.
hmmm...this prompt has me stumped. While I look at 2010 as fulfilling year, I'm not sure how I cultivated any wonder..it's making me feel somewhat mediocre in a way! (I do realize I'm completely not answering this prompt...so to be continued!)

December 5 – Let Go.

What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?
I let go of being a person who needed stuff. If I had a bad day, was feeling less than stellar about myself, or just needed a pick me up, my answer was to go to the mall and buy myself something. I can't get over how much stuff I used to buy. I'd think nothing about spending my last $50 on a new shirt from Ann Taylor after I convinced myself that I needed it. I was one needy chick because I had a closet full of useless buys. Why did I let go of this habit...mostly because when I got married Mr. Allan laid down the law and took away all my credit cards after I got scolded for having useless debt that was bringing us down (you know I love you for this Mr. A). Hands down the best thing he could have ever down. It's amazing what you think you need and want are really things you never needed or typically really wanted that bad.

December 6 – Make.

What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?
the last thing I made was chicken tettrazini casserole...I believe that counts! I used chicken, whole wheat pasta, peas, cremini mushrooms, and some lowfat sour cream. I almost did a nutty because I didn't have any chicken broth but quickly made a good substitution for it! The next thing I want to make is a nice wedding and honeymoon album of all our beautiful pictures. It seems like a daunting task I keep putting off and desperately need to clear a few hours a night to tackle it.

December 7 – Community.

Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?
outside of my family, I feel like I have alot of different little communities that I hang with. I have a great work community, with co-workers I consider friends who make our somewhat crazy jobs bearable. I have my little gym community. It might sound dorky, but I love going to the gym and working out and having my little 5pm power yoga friend I talk to before class each night. I have an online community full of RI women I met while planning my wedding (shout out to my fellow Rhooser's). Some of those ladies I've become real life friends with. All these little outside communities keep me going and represent a different area in my life that I enjoy.

December 8 – Beautifully Different.

Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful.
I think alot of things make me different and likable. At first, I think I'm a bit of a guarded person. I'm not instant BFF's with people. Once I  let them in, I believe I'm a very generous person to my friends. I think I'm a good, sarcastic, funny story teller. If i'm friends with someone, I'm an open book, the good, the bad, and the ugly..which is usually the stuff people are thinking and don't want to say aloud, that I like to verbalize for people. I like to joke with others, I think I have a good sense of humor and I like to socialize and meet new people.

December 9 – Party

Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.
There was a wedding that all my friends went to this year. I loved this night because all of our friends were gathered together again. My friends that had children, who I don't see much were out and about and our good old group of Newport friends were together again. The liquor was flowing and I just remember it being a giddy fun night with lots of shenanigans. Flowers in a donkey statute's butt, a pyramid during dinner, a light up flamingo, dancing with my best friend, and tons of silly silly, probably borderline immature stuff. But, I can't remember laughing as hard as I did that night all year long!